It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just high enough for therapy.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
