i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize