just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
