ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
