I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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