at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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