How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
