im about as happy as oj after his trial
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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