Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
