your parents love me but you hate me
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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