I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize