so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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