i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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