If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
