I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize