"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He felt like a one man threesome
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
