did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
