I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
