Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
