im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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