Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
