return my video game
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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