I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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