When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
