well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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