stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He did a backflip because drugs
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