Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize