You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
