If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
