I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
