After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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