McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
