Dual....:-)
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize