Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
zippers are such a cool invention
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Your cock deserves a montage
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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