Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
PANTIES FOUND
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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