Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
ugly people sure do ruin things
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
