I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
