Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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