butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
