i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
