2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize