we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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