so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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