There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
