so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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