idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize