i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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