We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
