I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I love having hate sex.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I would fuck him just for his dog
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
