you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I need water and some morals
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
