too bad you live with your parents still
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
