Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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