That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
