How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
All the doctor said was why
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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