Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i barfeds in our rink
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
