escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
