I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
