i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
worst night to have a conscience
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Who put my cat in the fridge?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
