next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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