I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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