Swine flu. Run for my life!
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
