I need help removing her.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
