Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
