She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
