I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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