More tranny stories later!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Randomize
