I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize