Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
