oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Help. Why am I so naked?
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