Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
