Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
