Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
