I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Randomize
