Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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