Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
