The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
