coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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