So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
