I hate your face
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
